Memories....is it the way we were??

As we approach the end of the year, many folks take stock of their life and all that occurred over the past year. They look for ways to improve and make resolutions to do so. The media will share retrospectives of the year that passed, often with a focus of the headline grabbing events. But does this version of reality reflect how everyone felt or just the editor's viewpoint? I recall countless times listening to Casey Kasem counting down the Top 100 songs of the year and being disappointed at number 1 as it wasn't MY number 1. The past year can be viewed the same way as each of us has a different perspective on 2022. Some will say it was a horrible year, while others may have a happier recollection.

Earlier this fall I attended my high school reunion. Less than half of our fellow graduates attended and some who chose not to come mentioned being hurt by someone, that high school wasn't a fun time for them and they had no desire to relive those memories.

I cannot honestly think of anyone who recalls being a teenager with an eagerness to return to those days. The insecurity, the constant comparison to classmates, the competitive nature of sports tryouts or grades...no thank you! However, at 58 I am not returning to my 18 year old self, I am meeting up with my friends- many of whom I haven't seen in a long time. The memories we will chose to share will be, as Barbra Streisand sang, " the laughter we will remember, whenever we remember the way we were".

Sometimes our memories can be like the game of "telephone". The event occurred one way but as time has passed, our memory of the event can morph into our perception of what actually occurred. I'm not talking about the immense pain or loss associated with abuse, neglect, death; but rather those misunderstandings and insignificant moments that have remained with us and continue to cause unrest. Was that comment truly said with those exact words? Was the meaning behind that statement as vicious as we imagined? More importantly, was the delivery truly as sinister as we have created it in our mind? Is that anger worth continuing to hold on to? Or is it time to forgive, forget and move on?

As we take stock of this past year, may it also be a time of moving forward. Another step in living our authentic lives by moving beyond the past. That evening a few weeks ago, as my 70 or so classmates gathered for that class photo, it was the laughter we chose to remember. We recalled those simple times and enjoyed each other's company. For those few hours, there was no prom queen, no football captain, no drama geek - it was just a group of adults who shared their educational experience. We smiled, exchanged contact information and promised to get together sooner than 10 years. When I reflect on this year, that is truly a memory I will hope to savor for the future. Whatever was painful at 18, I've forgotten and instead remember the laughter. I am viewing this past year in the same light - there were many depressing moments, but I want to focus instead on the happy ones - starting my fitness classes and a huge thank you to those who are taking them; this blog and the gratitude to those of you who continue to read and share; the new friendships that have evolved this year and offer a promise of wonderful memories to come. I wish you all a peaceful and memorable holiday season. See you all in 2023 as we set new moments to live like....